Thursday, April 24, 2014

Survival

Since I've been there, done that, wrote the blog post about it, I have been approached by a few friends asking what would be most helpful to do for a friend or family member going through a miscarriage. I cannot speak for others, but based on my experiences, here are my tips.

Do something. Let her know you are there. If you are at a loss of what to do, what to bring, what to say - I've included a list of welcome items (from my perspective).
  1. Tissues. Make it a pretty box while you're at it.
  2. Heat pad or rice pack to help with the physical pain.
  3. Advil to ease the pain.
  4. A journal where she can write down her thoughts - if she so chooses. Don't get your feelers hurt if she doesn't actually use it. It's the thought that counts.
  5. I read somewhere online that cinnamon helps miscarriages pass (and everything you read online is true), so I'm going to include cinnamon rolls on this list. They also taste great.
  6. Fresh fruits and vegetables - snack foods that require minimal preparation and are healthy.
  7. A bag of chocolate. Chocolate makes everything a little better. I prefer Dove, and they have those great inspirational messages on the inside.
  8. If she's a reader, a good book she can lose herself in might help to pass the time.
  9. Pads and liners, well - you just need them and going to the grocery store is not high on the priority list.
  10. Relaxing lotions, creams, body wash, etc. 
  11. Wine, beer, spirits - pick her/your poison and go have a glass, or a bottle. I'm not here to judge.
  12. If she's an e-reader, a giftcard to buy a book or two, or whatever she might choose.
  13. Freezer meals or prepared dinners. This will come in handy especially if she has a family to feed. 
  14. Flowers to brighten her day.
I would say trust your gut - if you know her well enough to know what she's going through,  you will know what is appropriate. A gift certificate for massage or a pedicure for the two of you to enjoy together would be a nice gesture. My advice would be to not forget about her. Check in on her every once in a while - even if it is just to share the latest Buzzfeed post about 28 Dogs That Immediately Regret Their Decisions. Get her out of the house - even if it is just to go run errands with you. Don't stop being her friend because you're not sure what to say. Be normal, because she's desperately trying to be normal too.

3 comments:

Ashly Stewart said...

I just love you so much.

Lizzy said...

This is the best post ever and I am so proud of you for writing it. We had several miscarriages trying to get our babies here and it's miserable for all parties involved when people don't know what to say or do. Love everything on this list <3 Heart you!!

Tiffany Anne said...

Love you ladies, thank you for your support! xoxo

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